I realized it the other day. I don't think anyone else knows or that I even knew until the last week or so. I am still grieving. I still miss my little girl. I still look at a boy and imagine him being dragged around and loved on and chased by, two sisters. It hurts me that my current boyfriend didn't know me before. I was so much more confident, and needed no reassurance. The very things he resents me for, my weakness.
Or maybe he doesn't but then there's another reminder, I don't trust people. Since Zoe died, I don't trust people to stick around because in my experience they don't. I don't expect him to stick around forever. I don't trust anyone to do that. How do you have a relationship, if you don't learn to trust someone to stay?
I really want to participate in the Where I am Now Project of Angie's. Today though, this is where I am. Remembering that I'm still grieving and I don't trust anyone and it's hurting my relationships....
Jul 22, 2011
Posted by Lindsay at 1:58 PM