The view over here..where I'm standing..

I've always had an intense urge and I've been creating since I could put pencil to paper. I've had a nagging need in the last few weeks to evaluate my life, what I wanted from it, why I was put here, that deep shit we all do when we know things cannot stay the same anymore. I closed my eyes and imagined the different paths and lived in them for a moment and judged each possibility by how it made my soul react. I was meant to create. It is what I feel comfortable saying I was put here to do.
 I have tattooed in the past to pay bills, but it's not my favorite thing to do, especially designs that are straight off of the flash wall.There was no creative release in it for me, and it felt technical, like tracing and coloring, like in a coloring book. I only loved to tattoo my drawings, my ideas, the sessions where they say what they want and I draw a picture over and it over till they like and get it.
 I've been painting again and it feels amazing. Painting is the main reason you guys aren't hearing from me as much, more so than Aidyn (He's a very easy baby). I have more ideas than canvases and I'm planning to do shows again, but I'm thinking of giving myself a larger radius and try to show in Baton Rouge or New Orleans. Louisiana needs art. Our state needs the benefits, the documentation, that artists give us to validate and record our continuing struggles.  I've decided on a series, of my favorite animals in the Gulf. If you know me or have read this blog for a while you would know that I love the Gulf, I love to catch sharks and huge fish. I love the porpoises and the sea turtles that swim across from us on their merry ways. I need to document the sad reality for so many of these animals (I certainly won't have deep-sea fishing adventures with my dad to distract me) and  I want to try to get a show in one of our our bigger cities. This is what I have been focusing on and trying to get ready for, yet struggling with money for now that I'm paying all the bills myself, there's not tons left over.
 So, I get a call from a number I don't recognize Monday night. It was a boutique style, supposedly classy little tattoo shop, looking for a nicely tattooed female artist to compliment their cosmetic tattooing business (Clients come in to have their lipliner put on permanantly and decide to get a heart on their big toe, before they go on their cruise). I've heard the shop more resembles a hair salon and many clients have been asking about getting  little tattoos done. They told me I could do appointment only, and/or I could choose three, six hour day shifts every week. She discourages flash and has none in her store, which makes me happy. Oh, and she pays cash, that day when you leave, so no waiting for a check and her rates are generous.
 You see where this is going. I may be looking at  having extra money to enjoy with my kids without exchanging the ability to be with my kids most days for most of the day. Oh, and I may could save a bit of cash to take a trip down south and TRY to get close to, see with my own eyes and photograph the subjects of my new paintings. I think the experience will motivate me further and help me express it better on canvas.
 Usually things that seem to be too good to be true, are (Like this whole out-of-nowhere tattooing in a nice shop for a decent rate when I happen to be flat broke thing I got going on). Cross your fingers that some strange irony is occurring here to alter my current brooding and grey attitude into a more light and beautiful one.



 and I'm sorry I've been M.I.A...xo