Time for me to get real, for real...

If you read this blog:
 First of all, things are pretty good right now. No one's life is without it's kinks here and there, but there isn't much that Jeff and I can't handle it seems. I had a good Christmas. Aidyn really loves bows and has become addicted to Despicable Me. (seriously) My kid will give you the most pathetic face and give his most dramatic cry upon the changing of his new, umm only... movie. It's a phase, I'm sure, but I still get a laugh when I'm doing some mundane task and hear, " It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!!!" or "Curse you tiny toilet!!" We have to go to Virginia (yes, 1,000 away from me) on Wednesday. Anybody want to do lunch?! I'll be stuffed in a cold, I'm guessing, hotel room all by my lonesome Thursday while Jeff fights to keep visitation with his adorable, spitting image of himself son thanks to an evil bitter ex-wife. YAY! Like I said, we just roll with the punches and take turns holding each other up and making each other laugh.
 The point of this post was to first let you know that I'm still here just very busy. I took some time to think about why I didn't feel like writing here anymore, and I realized that I needed a more open space to write about my life. I need a place to write about live children, dead children, my relationships, my struggles, my joys, my poetry...anything I want.
 So, I've given myself permission to do so. From now on this blog I will be all me, all the time. I may curse. I may write random poetry or streams of consciencness. I will post pictures of whatever I want.
 I love quite a few of you that read here, like sisters and I have faith that you guys already know the 'real me' enough to stick around. Those I will inevitably lose, I'm sorry. Thank you so much for your kind words and well wishes throughout the last almost three years I've had this blog.
 I named this blog La La Land, because my nephew calls me La La and I live in my head so much of the time and have used the term to explain where I disappear to. It was never meant to be a blog that only focused on the loss of my precious Zoe though that is how I found Blogger in the first place.
  Enough with all that now...ahem..abrupt subject change following:
Catherine, I miss you, I really do. I never finished my bird mobile to my liking, so I'm going to hang them on the stems of some vellum paper flowers in a vase that I made. I'll show you pictures..promise.
 Angie, I haven't forgotten you, and you still should expect a little something from me. It's past Christmas but what the hell, Christmas was crazy and I still want you to know how much you mean to me. I love seeing Thor and Bea on fb...It's precious watching them grow.
 Birni, I'm SO glad you've reached the 'age of viabilty' and things are mostly ok. I told you that you weren't cursed....sweet lady. Oh and as soon as you send me some wool, I'm making you a Mr. Mitchell..remember..
 Petra, you can expect to be receiving a little something as well. We'll call it a New Year present. I've had your tea for a while and a few knick knacks put together, I've just been so busy. Oh, I finally got my hands on some more kinder hippos, but nothing is cooler than the eggs. I still have every one. I love them.....
 Margaret, I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch. E-mail me and let me know how things are going. I hope you are still loving life a little more. You seemed to have been finally pulled from the pit last time I heard from you and it made me happy.


  I made a resolution this year (a few actually, but anyway) to paint and create every day. Angie inspired me and a lecture from my dad about wasting my time and talent gave me the push that I needed. I actually finished a great one today and I've already drawn out a new one. I've been painting alot and I feel extremely good about it. It's something I was born to do, and I know it. When I don't create, I suffer. Call me crazy, but you can ask my momma, I was creating things as soon as I was coordinated enough to hold a pencil or a brush. Where it will all take me, I have no idea, but I have faith that it will change my life and the lives of those around me one day, somehow. My instincts and my soul know that this is/has always been my path. I'm excited to learn where it leads, I just need the gentle push Jeff gives me to keep a brush in my hand and creativity flowing.
 I gotta go now. Jeff needs some of my voodoo to help the Saints defeat the Seahawks and I need to go hang out with my crazy, sexy boyfriend. Kids are with dads. (Sorry Seattle fans, I LOVE your city but I gotta support my New Orleans boys....lol)



 I'm back, for real this time. Thanks for not forgetting about me.
   

xo Lindsay