Jan 8, 2011

Time for me to get real, for real...

If you read this blog:
 First of all, things are pretty good right now. No one's life is without it's kinks here and there, but there isn't much that Jeff and I can't handle it seems. I had a good Christmas. Aidyn really loves bows and has become addicted to Despicable Me. (seriously) My kid will give you the most pathetic face and give his most dramatic cry upon the changing of his new, umm only... movie. It's a phase, I'm sure, but I still get a laugh when I'm doing some mundane task and hear, " It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!!!" or "Curse you tiny toilet!!" We have to go to Virginia (yes, 1,000 away from me) on Wednesday. Anybody want to do lunch?! I'll be stuffed in a cold, I'm guessing, hotel room all by my lonesome Thursday while Jeff fights to keep visitation with his adorable, spitting image of himself son thanks to an evil bitter ex-wife. YAY! Like I said, we just roll with the punches and take turns holding each other up and making each other laugh.
 The point of this post was to first let you know that I'm still here just very busy. I took some time to think about why I didn't feel like writing here anymore, and I realized that I needed a more open space to write about my life. I need a place to write about live children, dead children, my relationships, my struggles, my joys, my poetry...anything I want.
 So, I've given myself permission to do so. From now on this blog I will be all me, all the time. I may curse. I may write random poetry or streams of consciencness. I will post pictures of whatever I want.
 I love quite a few of you that read here, like sisters and I have faith that you guys already know the 'real me' enough to stick around. Those I will inevitably lose, I'm sorry. Thank you so much for your kind words and well wishes throughout the last almost three years I've had this blog.
 I named this blog La La Land, because my nephew calls me La La and I live in my head so much of the time and have used the term to explain where I disappear to. It was never meant to be a blog that only focused on the loss of my precious Zoe though that is how I found Blogger in the first place.
  Enough with all that now...ahem..abrupt subject change following:
Catherine, I miss you, I really do. I never finished my bird mobile to my liking, so I'm going to hang them on the stems of some vellum paper flowers in a vase that I made. I'll show you pictures..promise.
 Angie, I haven't forgotten you, and you still should expect a little something from me. It's past Christmas but what the hell, Christmas was crazy and I still want you to know how much you mean to me. I love seeing Thor and Bea on fb...It's precious watching them grow.
 Birni, I'm SO glad you've reached the 'age of viabilty' and things are mostly ok. I told you that you weren't cursed....sweet lady. Oh and as soon as you send me some wool, I'm making you a Mr. Mitchell..remember..
 Petra, you can expect to be receiving a little something as well. We'll call it a New Year present. I've had your tea for a while and a few knick knacks put together, I've just been so busy. Oh, I finally got my hands on some more kinder hippos, but nothing is cooler than the eggs. I still have every one. I love them.....
 Margaret, I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch. E-mail me and let me know how things are going. I hope you are still loving life a little more. You seemed to have been finally pulled from the pit last time I heard from you and it made me happy.


  I made a resolution this year (a few actually, but anyway) to paint and create every day. Angie inspired me and a lecture from my dad about wasting my time and talent gave me the push that I needed. I actually finished a great one today and I've already drawn out a new one. I've been painting alot and I feel extremely good about it. It's something I was born to do, and I know it. When I don't create, I suffer. Call me crazy, but you can ask my momma, I was creating things as soon as I was coordinated enough to hold a pencil or a brush. Where it will all take me, I have no idea, but I have faith that it will change my life and the lives of those around me one day, somehow. My instincts and my soul know that this is/has always been my path. I'm excited to learn where it leads, I just need the gentle push Jeff gives me to keep a brush in my hand and creativity flowing.
 I gotta go now. Jeff needs some of my voodoo to help the Saints defeat the Seahawks and I need to go hang out with my crazy, sexy boyfriend. Kids are with dads. (Sorry Seattle fans, I LOVE your city but I gotta support my New Orleans boys....lol)



 I'm back, for real this time. Thanks for not forgetting about me.
   

xo Lindsay

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ill be your huckleberry :) I love you baby. Im glad I can push your brush. Everything will be ok, it always has before.

Jennifer Jayhawk said...

I don't remember how I found your blog but I was fascinated with your art work. It is amazing! I was a Fine Arts student way back when. I would love to start doing something artistic again.

bir said...

Awww you just so CUTE! :) Have been missing you, and I think that's a fab idea to take your blog to where you need it to be. As much as we always hold a corner (large!!) to our babies, it's part of the healing that happens inevitably. Personally, I can't wait to see and hear more about the life of la-la!

My blog has had to go private, I'm not sure if you know. You're authorised pretty lady, so you shold be right to access it, but please let me know if you have any dramas!

As for Mr Mitchell's wool... I have it here for you!! :) I need to know if you want me to try to wash it before I send it, as it's literally straight off the sheep's back (full of lanolin!). Just not sure what works best for you... drop me an email (birni@cybergal.com) and let me know!

love to you xx

Julie said...

Hey Lindsay, its good to hear that you are back. I am looking forward to your poetry, art and streams of consciousness. I hope Virginia is not too cold.

Penny said...

:) Welcome back. Hope everything works out for your boyfriend and his custody. We know how he feels. They are, however, worth the fight. My husband had to fight for years to keep his visitation (20 years ago) ~ for no reason other than a bitter ex-wife. It is not easy to keep fighting (especially financially), but what choice do you have? Her former (at that time) pastor told us to give up the kids. I guess he thought he was King Solomon! Not even close. :( We refused and are so glad we did. I shared all of this with his daughters after they were grown. They'd had no idea their daddy was under that much pressure. The oldest said she is thankful we didn't listen to that pastor as it would have probably cost her daddy their relationship. When you seek biblical advice, you still have to weigh it. Our pastor would have helped us fight~ would have testified for us and supported us with prayer, but we weren't going to church back then. Just glad it all worked out according to His plan and my husband did not lose his kids. All of his daughters are grown, with families of their own, and I hate to imagine not having them and our grandchildren in our lives. Tell Jeff to NEVER give up fighting for his rights~ his son is depending upon him. God bless.

myskytimes said...

Aloha my Dear! Yay for Lala!!! Glad to hear all is well and thrilled to hear you're going to keep on writing. See, I'd be here reading your voice even if you'd decide to write about the growth of your front-lawn.

I love your writing, your drawing (found a lovely spot for the fishies, right in the middle of my living-room) and most of all: you! So no matter what you're going to write about: I will be here.

Can't wait to see more of your art, your life, your loved ones and everything else that matters. Big loves! xoxo

Mon Frère said...

Terrific layout on your blog.