I'll be back..

Part of my life is beautiful and perfect right now. Aidyn is growing and doing well. Ivy is in love with her new brother and just passed her test for the Gifted program at school. I am in awe of them both and so blessed.
 Things with Aidyn's dad are not good and becoming worse. It's hard to deal with it while I have so many postpartum hormones surging through me and so little sleep as I am the primary caretaker for both of my children.
 I have been staying up late at night crafting and watching my favorite t.v. shows online in between feeding and changing Aidyn and getting up with Ivy for school. I try to create a distance from the growing issues between Kenny and I. I've made many beautiful things lately in an effort to distract myself from the disrespect and invalidation I receive from the man I made this child with. I thought things would get better between us once Aidyn was here and he realized what I went through during pregnancy and the birth and the extended stay at the hospital. It's made no difference. It may have made it worse.
 I haven't written here as I'm afraid to sound ungrateful in the wake of getting what so many are longing for; a healthy, living child. I am in love with my children, no doubt about it. I am just tired of the fight with Kenny and I'm waiting for it to be over.
 I'll be back. I just have lots going on and lots of decisions to make and I'm exhausted.
I miss you guys. xoxo