May 16, 2010

I'll be back..

Part of my life is beautiful and perfect right now. Aidyn is growing and doing well. Ivy is in love with her new brother and just passed her test for the Gifted program at school. I am in awe of them both and so blessed.
 Things with Aidyn's dad are not good and becoming worse. It's hard to deal with it while I have so many postpartum hormones surging through me and so little sleep as I am the primary caretaker for both of my children.
 I have been staying up late at night crafting and watching my favorite t.v. shows online in between feeding and changing Aidyn and getting up with Ivy for school. I try to create a distance from the growing issues between Kenny and I. I've made many beautiful things lately in an effort to distract myself from the disrespect and invalidation I receive from the man I made this child with. I thought things would get better between us once Aidyn was here and he realized what I went through during pregnancy and the birth and the extended stay at the hospital. It's made no difference. It may have made it worse.
 I haven't written here as I'm afraid to sound ungrateful in the wake of getting what so many are longing for; a healthy, living child. I am in love with my children, no doubt about it. I am just tired of the fight with Kenny and I'm waiting for it to be over.
 I'll be back. I just have lots going on and lots of decisions to make and I'm exhausted.
I miss you guys. xoxo

7 comments:

Penny said...

I will be praying for you. You've been so busy, but if you get a moment to read my latest posts, it will be worth your time. God is so good and still in the miracle business. If I get to Shreveport soon, I would LOVE to meet you and your babies. No pressure. I totally understand about meeting a stranger, so you can say no. My daughter lives there and there's another blogger there I would like to meet. We could meet at a park or something. I think we have a lot in common. :)

With Out My Punkin said...

((hugs)) Take your time and take care of you and your babies!

angie said...

Miss you too, Lindsay. Sending you much love, and little Aidyn and Ivy too. xo

Lea said...

Hey Linds... we've missed you too. Glad to hear that Ivy and Aydin are doing well. So sorry that things are rough with Kenny... thinking of you and sending strength and love to you.

myskytimes said...

Aloha my Dear! Missed you and am glad about the update. I hope the situation with K. will be easier soon. No one deserves to be disrespected and I hope it doesn't drag you down too much.

Taking care of your lovely kids and crafting pretty things sound just about the right thing to do, even though I can imagine how stressful it can be at times. If I'd be closer, I'd love to help you out...

Sending a big hug to you! xoxo

Catherine W said...

So glad to hear about the bits of your life that are beautiful and perfect. It is lovely to hear about how well Aidyn and Ivy are doing.
So sorry that other bits are not going too well at the moment. I hope that things with K change for the better for you soon. xo

Snarky Belle said...

Thinking of you with so much love. Praying you have the strength for all that you are facing. You are a strong, beautiful woman.