Feb 1, 2009

I Forgot to Keep Growing!! (reality check of sorts)

I suppose I was unaware of the rut I've been in. I've plateaued, in my grief and in my walk with the Lord. I am numb. Nothing tastes as good as it once did. I find it impossible to be very excited about anything. I am still sad, and I walk through the motions of grief but never allowing myself to fully feel these feelings. It's as if I have encased myself, in a shell, so to speak. I looked out from it today, and realized it was there. I know I sound fruity, but I believe I have been on auto-pilot and totally unaware of it. So, I know that I have a ways to go.
It's time to wake up, learn to fully feel things again, and start growing more. Ok, I had to get that out. Goodnight!

4 comments:

mrsrubly said...

keep on trusting and putting your faith in the Lord..he will carry you..he will also put people in your life to help carry your mat, so to speak! praying for you my friend. i can't wait to see the chest~i bet it's beautiful...

Granny on the Web said...

I continue to pray for your healing and peace. Each step along the way is helped by faith.
Love Granny

Ruth said...

i know exactly what you are talking about and everyone tells me that i'm too hard on myself and that i'm expecting too much but such is life. just found you and i love u already. from a fellow grieving mom

Carly Marie said...

Autopilot..... terrible. I hate that feeling. Feeling something is better than feeling nothing. Let yourself feel sadness Lindsay.

I pray that with in that sadness you are able to find beauty

x