Aug 30, 2009

bleh

I do not feel like myself. K doesn't like me right now. LO has had an overnight guest for two days. I let her stay another night honestly, because I was too riddled with anxiety to take her back home yesterday. K is building a short fence in the front yard for no good reason other than to get away from me while still saying he was here. He is off for two weeks. his next job may be in another city. I will be alone. There is too much work to be done in this country home for one person. I'll run myself ragged like I did last time. Great. This is K's first child. He has no idea that he should be afraid. This in turn makes me feel terribly afraid and unable to talk about it. Everything is NOT going according to plan.
I'm going to throw up now...

7 comments:

caitsmom said...

((((hugs)))) Will be thinking of your family and reading all the way through this next part of your lives. Peace.

Tina said...

Oh Lindsay I hope you can find a way to be at peace with what is to come. I am not in your situation, so I don't know how you feel, but I hope you do not spend the next many months feeling this way. It just is not fair to you. I hope knowing that I will be thinking of and praying for you will maybe make things a tiny bit btter. If I where there I would come and help you with that old country home of yours. xx

Penny said...

First, let me say I just now saw these three posts! So, I am really surprised.
I can only imagine how scary being pregnant is for you, but I do know how fear can overtake you IF you let it. Remember the scripture, "Perfect love casteth out fear." (I forget the reference.) Worry about nothing, but in everything give thanks, make your requests known with supplication.
Every time you get scared, cast those thoughts down. No matter what happens, God is there and He loves you. Congrats and God bless. I'll pray everything goes smoothly for you and that in a few months, your blog will have nothing but praises and pictures of a new, healthy baby and L.O. with her new sibling. =)

Anonymous said...

let go and let god

Catherine W said...

Thinking of you Lindsay. I can't imagine how tough it is, especially with all the work associated with your place. Try not to let yourself get too ragged.

It must be difficult, I imagine you feel a lot more 'experienced' a parent than K. I'm sure that he doesn't quite understand how afraid you are.

Love to you. Wish that I lived close enough to offer some practical help. Or a cup of tea and a piece of cake. Or perhaps a ginger biscuit of the sickness. xo

Natalie said...

I wish I had some amazing words to ease your anxiety and fear. I can only say that I care, I understand the fears, and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish peace and calm for you.

Jennifer Ross said...

The further along you get, the better you're going to feel. I felt so yucky in the beginning of this pregnancy, and knowing how long I had to go did not make my attitude any better. After awhile, you'll shift to a more positive and happier "you." Keep your chin up, and try to focus on your little blessing that you will be holding in the end.

Love,
Jenny