Please..kick me..

I've been around. I've been busy. I've been ok-ish. Christmas passed in a blur of last minute gifts and cooking and schedules. I wanted so bad to grasp a bit of Christmas 'spirit' but it was a struggle.
I've been in a mood. I want to paint landscapes in blacks and reds and pour all of this out onto a canvas, but I can't get my head where it needs to be to accomplish that. I crave my own company and listen to Radiohead instead.
I'm very behind on reading blogs and I've received some very kind e-mails and I just can't seem to bring myself to respond to them yet. (You know you are. Sorry I'm such a freak that I can't fake the funk and send you a heart-felt response, but it will come I promise).I pass on making myself take belly pics every Wednesday. I'm beginning to feel some animosity (I think) due to my lack of enthusiasm, but it may be all in my head, like the rest of it. I may be depressed, who knows.
I've always been driven by one passion or another and I thought it drove me crazy. I think I may feel more crazy when I try to conjure something to be passionate about and fall short, for that day at least.
When I feel like this I tend to put on some linen pants and a sarong and wash my face, and I feel more human. I've thought about it today, but my feet will just not get warm. I'll take socks and yoga pants today please. Think I could get my hands on a horse tranquilizer while I'm at it? (Sorry, my dark humor is oozing out)


..Such a pretty house and such a pretty garden.. no alarms and no surprises..please...