May 14, 2009

They way they became the 'Brady Bunch'...

Zoe's daddy is having another baby. Wow, never saw that one coming and that was crazy hard to type. Now between himself and his new girlfriend they'll have six living children. I guess I suppose I thought I would be the one to welcome her baby brother or sister in to the world?
What a ridiculous thought...
Who knows if I can ever even carry another one. So I guess if you stress out the woman carrying your child, and she loses the baby, you just go get your new girlfriend pregnant and all is well with the world...right?!
I'm being ugly. I'm going to stop now. Every one I know is with the man they were with when they lost their children. I wasn't even with Zoe's dad when she was born. I feel so incredibly lonely right now.


You can find me listening to Jeff Buckley...in the closet.


*disclaimer: It was brought to my attention that this blog makes it seem as if I still wanted to be with Zoe's daddy. Not the case. We've not been together in two years. I love K. What I meant was that I thought I would get married and have another baby and THAT'S how Zoe and L.O. would get another baby brother/sister.
Zoe's dad has two kids that he doesn't pay child-support for while he helps raise his girlfriends three kids and now is adding another one. I was never naive enough to expect him to pay for Zoe, and I was prepared to do that myself. Btw..he never did. Not even to help bury her. I hope I cleared that up

7 comments:

Natalie said...

Lindsay, I wish I had words that could be of comfort. Just know that you are loved, and in my thoughts and prayers.

angie said...

Oh, honey, wish I could give you a big hug and share a cup of bitch about men tea with you. ((hugs))

Linda said...

Lindsay,
I have just started reading your blog. I don't even remember how I found it, but I am shocked at what I have read today. My heart goes out to you. I don't have words to say to you, because I don't understand how a man can do that to the mother of his children.

Please know, there are people out there who can help.

Monique said...

I'm so sorry, Lindsay. I think us babylostmamas should be spared from more hurt but sadly, it doesn't always work that way. Sending you lots of hugs and thinking of you.

Lynda said...

I just want to give you a hug! Why is it all the wrong people get to have children? Its a question I ask myself daily. I'm so sorry you have to walk this road, and watch from the sidelines all at the same time. *hugs to you*

Jennifer Ross said...

You're better off not being with a guy like that! Feel sorry for the woman who is "falling" for him. Keep your head high, and focus on all of your blessings around you.

Love,
Jenny

Lindsay said...

If you happen to be the woman carrying said baby and are now upset, you shouldn't be sneaking around and reading my blog in the first place. This is a haven for my words, my thoughts and even my unadulterated anger. I deserve a space to vent.