Jul 27, 2009

Back in reality...

I'm back from Jefferson. I spent the day cleaning and reading the updates on poor Stellan and his family. I am so scared for them.
Reading the fear in Jennifer's voice, reminded me so much of what I went through with Zoe. I pray that Stellan has a very different ending.
I had a dream last night, that I was walking around with Zoe. She was still and had her eyes closed. People were commenting that she seemed to sleep so much and be such an angel. When I told them it was because she was very sick and going to die any day, they thought I was crazy, but I took her everywhere and kept checking her to make sure she was still breathing. L.O. woke me up before the dream ended, but we all know what would have/did happen. It was very sad for me and quite chaotic.
I keep having these dreams where I know what's going to happen but no one believes me. My nights are filled with trying to convince droves of strangers that I am not crazy, only a bit more enlightened. I began to wake up, still pleading to be understood and believed, until consciousness settles in and I think,'wow, what a crazy night'. It seems to set the mood for the day if I am not careful.
I had no dreams the first night at the Bed and Breakfast and felt so rested the next day. I prayed for no dreams last night, and you see how that went.
With this day over, it's time for me to get ready for tomorrow and bedtime.
Niobe, I am crossing my fingers and hoping for your transfer.
Margaret, I am waiting for an update and I hope you and yours and your home are ok.
Angie, I'm so sorry about your finger. I hope you are feeling much better soon.
Carly, I am thinking of you tonight as well.
I'm hoping for Stellan as well of course.
I hope you all have a peaceful night (or morning for my friends in Oz).
I promise I am still sending your packages. I must wait for a paycheck as we just had a financial scare.
all my love, Lindsay


angie said...

Thank you, Lindsay...healing healing healing. Sometimes I wish our hearts could heal as quickly as fingers do. With love.

Jennifer Ross said...

Those bad dreams about our children are the worse! It just shows how much we keep them a part of our daily lives, because we love them so much.

Love to you,