Jul 29, 2009

Not a good day so far...

I was late. Five days late to be exact. I tried not to get excited, but we all know that's just what happens. I woke up in the middle of the night and bam! AF. I went back to bed and cried. I woke up this morning to a dead cell phone, no groceries for L.O. and no money till Thursday night.
Apparently I bundled my services per the phone company's request and they didn't add last months cell phone bill. Well they added this month AND last month to this month's bill and I owe around $400.
In twenty minutes I'll be borrowing a few dollars for groceries, which is more embarrassing to me than I can say.
I'm hurting today, afraid I'll never have another baby. I'm quite sure I have a lot of scar tissue from Zoe's traumatic birth, but my insurance only covers my OB if I am pregnant. Go figure. Also, I was advised to not try and carry another child after 30 as my risk for another abruption will be too great of a risk to my life. I'm about to be 28.
I thought our bills were caught up, so that when K received his first check, we would not be behind.
I just talked the phone company into not turning off my internet and home phone.
K called and told me the 'not pregnant thing' was ok, and I told him NO, it wasn't, not for me, and I informed him of how nice he had it that he didn't have to worry about this domestic mess and he hung up on me.
So, I've been awake less than thirty minutes and have successfully ticked off everyone I've talked to and cried on the phone with the phone company. I HATE to cry in front of people, it makes me feel weak and ridiculous.
Crying to me is like going to the potty; If I can help it, I should do it in the bathroom.
So, no nice Lindsay for you today, just a crampy embarrassed crazy woman who is SO tired of being upbeat and hopeful.
It has to get better than this. I have 12 hours till I can call the day done.


Anonymous said...

So sorry, Lindsay. Sending much love & hugs.

Lea said...

Hey Linds,

Hope things are getting a little better? Sounds like a really crappy start. I'm sorry it's a tough one...


Mirne said...

Definitely a crappy start. I hate it when utility companies mess things up and WE end up paying for it.

Jennifer Ross said...

One of my friends gave this poem to me a couple of years ago. I thought that you might like it. You may have already heard it before.

Don’t Quit!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but do not quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.


Catherine W said...

What an awful day. Some days are just terrible. I'm so sorry.

Hope it might have improved a little bit after you'd written this post. xx

angie said...

Sorry for the awful day, wish I could bring a cup of tea over and have a good cry with you. Rest, love. Take a bath or six. Be kind to you.

bir said...

Oh Lindsay - sending you much much love today. Many many hugs. Wish I was there to have a cuppa and a cry with you. It's all crap. None of it is ok. None of it.
But it will be. It will be one day. Remember, and believe. xxxxx

Cheese Lady said...

sorry for the bad day you were having, hope today is much better, life's a roller coaster, breath deep and hang on!