Jul 20, 2009

A jumbled happy mess of a post...

I haven't caught up with everyone in a while. I've been busy. I've been making cute little animals for the winners of my last contest and getting things together for a few others. I've been going swimming with K and L.O. and some friends of his. I've been trying to keep my mind from wandering. (that's pretty much impossible)
Do you remember how we had to give our vacation money to the union? Well, they STILL haven't called him to work. 'Next week' being their favorite line. We were doing ok on both of our incomes, but Friday a letter came saying he was no longer eligible for unemployment. Basically, now he may not be able to keep up his dues, so the union may expel him AGAIN.
Would you please pray that a spot would open up on this movie, and that they will call him while he is still in good standing with the union?
As for me, I'm doing ok. I've been in a fairly decent mood. I had a few sad days after my friend delivered her baby, but I can't go on in life thinking about what I don't have. I ordered some needle felting supplies from the Internet and my hands haven't stopped moving since. It's so simple and cute, and very therapeutic.
None of my (few) friends have been calling and I've felt a little lonely. I usually just take L.O. to do things and try not to think about what everyone else is doing. I can not for the life of me, figure out how to get my messages from Twitter to go to my text messages. I have unlimited text messages and have synced my phone in devices. What's the deal? Any advice?
The two year mark for Zoe-Beth's birth is coming soon. It does not feel as if it's been that long and I have no clue as to what to do on that day that will feel meaningful. I've done the balloon release. I even made her a cake last year. I know I will go to her grave, but what else should I do? What did you do on your baby's would-have-been 2nd birthday?
In one of my tweets a while back, I talked about my empathic tendencies. This is a short definition with credits to the author below:

Empaths are often very affectionate in personality and expression, great listeners and counselors (and not just in the professional area). They will find themselves helping others and often putting their own needs aside to do so. In the same breath, they can be much the opposite. They may be quiet, withdrawn from the outside world, loners, depressed, neurotic, life's daydreamers, or even narcissistic.

They are most often passionate towards nature and respect its bountiful beauty. One will often find empaths enjoying the outdoors, beaches, walking, etc. Empaths may find themselves continually drawn to nature as a form of release. It is the opportune place to recapture their senses and gain a sense of peace in the hectic lives they may live. The time to get away from it all and unwind with nature becomes essential to the empath. Animals are often dear to the heart of empaths as a natural love. It is not uncommon for empaths to have more than one pet in their homes.

Traits of an Empath
Empaths are often quiet and can take a while to handle a compliment for they're more inclined to point out another person's positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly in respect to themselves. They may have few problems talking about their feelings.

However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at blocking out others and that's not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and will have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another person's ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet! They are like beacons of light.

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding.

Here are the listeners of life. Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one--if only for peace of mind.

Written by Christel Broederlow Copyright (c) 2002 (The Empath Report)

Zoe's father once pointed out to me that I had these tendencies. Once I researched it, I couldn't disagree. I get physically ill when there is chaos or conflict around me. If there is a rape scene or an animal is harmed in a movie, I MUST change the channel or pretend I need to go to the restroom.
I have cats in my yard that just wander here and I definitely have a hard time accepting the compliments. I am acutely aware of how others are really feeling. I am also the local secret keeper.
I'm certain that a few of you have these tendencies as well...

With that explained (you can go ahead an assume I'm a wacko now) maybe you can understand me a little better. I feel too much. I must throw myself in head first or stand on the sidelines. There seems to be no middle ground in my life. K lost his unemployment and I know he's afraid of not being a good provider, and I have shingles for the second time in two weeks.(ON MY FACE!!!UUGH!)
I'm thinking of taking up yoga on top of my physical therapy. I need a physical release from emotional stress. I did yoga on the second story back patio of our beach house with my ex-sister in law (we still love each other very much) when we went to Gulf Shores last year. I felt amazing that week and I had just recently lost a baby.
As I wrap this up, I wanted to tell everyone who is waiting on a package from me; It's still coming. It's taking a minute, but they will get to you. Hopefully on a day that you especially need a reason to smile. I'm working hard to give my gifts a smile factor!
I truly love and feel for you all. If you've asked for prayers, I've prayed. If I've read you are having a hard time, I pray. I know many people keep their IRL friends and their blog friends separate. I do not. I only see you as a friend I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet. A lot of you know more about me on a day to day basis than any of the people that I see regularly. One day my finances will be in order, and I will be able to travel. There are a few of you on my list of people I will be visiting.
That said, I am most grateful for all of you. Your kind words, your comments, just your presence. Thank you for being here for me. I love you guys...

It didn't rain last night as it was supposed to. I've decided to air up L.O.s kiddie pool so her and the neighborhood kids don't come in and out of my house all day, letting the cool air out. It also give me an excuse to watch her play and spray paint some little things I've been putting off.
For now, I finish my coffee and read the few blogs I'm behind on as L.O. sleeps in.
You guys try and have a great day. If you start feeling down, just remember that I have what looks like the plague on my face:)
(did you see my blogfrog widget? MckMama was here! I feel special...)

This just in.. A good friend of mine has been having a very hard time with drugs. She has been through a lot and I was there for her as much as I could be. She moved away and I had not heard from her. Guess who knocked on my door about thirty minutes ago with no track marks and no bruises on her arms and legs? That's right! She came to say hello, as today is her birthday, and showed me her new short sleeved wearing flesh colored, no needle pricked arms! I did not pray for her as often as I should have, but God knew she needed Him. Apparently the move was exactly what she needed to get away from her suppliers and get clean. Thank you Jesus! This just brightens my day and fills me with hope. Thought it may brighten yours too! Will you pray that she continues to stay clean and that she will continue to be a better example for her son D.?


Jennifer Ross said...

The end of your post is great news!

I hope that one day we could meet. I would love to meet so many of my friends here in blog land.


Catherine W said...

What a lovely post.

I hope that K gets a spot on the movie. That situation sounds really unfair, especially the loss of the vacation money :(

Yay for the needle felting. Will you put some more pics up?

Boo for the shingles, especially on the face. No fair.

The description of an empath was very interesting. I suppose, as with everything in life, there is a continuum and some people do feel more intensely than others. Personally, I think it is a gift. I hope that the downsides don't get to you too much.

Yay for your friend. That did brighten my day.

Stupidly long comment ending now! xx

Anonymous said...

I love your empathy and kindness, btw. And boo on the shingles - no fair. Yoga may help as I've heard shingles can be brought about by stress. Hoping you have less in your life and that K gets on that movie. Good news about your friend, wonderful. xoxo

Michelle Riggs said...

Thank you for praying for Abby.

margaret said...

Wow, that was a great post Lindsay. I would say from the description that I am an empath too. As for your shingles, ouch!!! Is there anything your doctor can give you for them? I will pray for K to get his spot in the movie so the union doesn't kick him out and for your friend in her journey to being clean. I too believe we will meet IRL, because I feel such a connection to you. You sound happy and I like that. Hugging you

Penny said...

I thought about you trying to decide how to honor Zoe-Beth on her birthday. The first thing I thought of was to donate to a cause in her name. But with K not working right now, money is tight I'm sure. Second idea, how about a clothing drive for children her age. Maybe give them to a children's shelter/home. Or to a thrift store where the money funds a shelter or orphanage. Just an idea. That's it, I guess. Not very creative today.
That was the greatest news about your friend. I've prayed for people in those situations in the past, lost touch with them, asked God to somehow let me find out they were okay, and I'd get news or run into them and they'd be doing better. Whatever prayers you prayed for her were heard and she probably had others praying, too. Glad you were encouraged by her visit. =)

Ruth said...

Wow, so great to learn more about you and to hear that you are managing. You are loved and prayed for. Keep relying on God, I wish we lived closer so we could do yoga together.